My next tale happened in France.
Malcolm Rathmell, Martin Lampkin and I were travelling to the French round of the European Championship. We stayed the night at a hotel that was about 20 miles from the Trial start.

First thing next day we set off in the direction of the start. As soon as we got going, we rummaged about to find the regulations for the event. These stated that the start was at ‘Le Mari’. We still had a fair way to go, so we could relax and keep one eye on the map. Suddenly Malc bellowed: ‘LEFT, LEFT, LEFT‘ and sure enough as we broad sided into this rather grand gateway the sign read ‘Le Mari’.

Almost in harmony we said ‘bloody hell! this looks a bit posh for a Trial?‘.

At the end of the drive was a magnificent French Chateau. Still the sign said ‘Le Mari’ so we must be right.

We parked in front of the Chateau and Mart and Malc set off up the stone steps. Says Mart: ‘Come on Rob what are you piddling about at?‘

I said: ‘I cant find my Passport or my money and my international trials licence’.

It was at this point Mart washed his hands of me.

Mart: ‘Every time you put your documents safe you forget where you have put them’.

‘Anyway’ said Mart, ‘I am not even going to help you look for them, you won’t have lost them look in all your pockets’.

Mart said: ‘Me and Malc are off to sign on you can catch us up’.

Sure enough I found my documents and set off in hot pursuit. The lads were on their way back down the stone steps.

Malc said: ‘Up the steps Rob, oh have you got your international Trials licence they wont let you sign on without it. Go through the glass doors and up the staircase in front of you at the top turn right go down the corridor and into the third door on the right’.

I opened the door and walked in expecting to see three or four people waiting to sign competitors on. Instead the room had about thirty people seated around a huge oval table all looking a bit bemused. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had been set up by the lads but not before I had got half-way around the table shouting in my best pigeon French Allo Allo sign on for ‘Trieeaal‘.

The look on their faces said it all and I beat a hasty retreat back through the door and off down the corridor.

Once outside I saw Mart and Malc laid on the ground with tears rolling down their cheeks. ‘Did you get signed on Rob?‘

‘No I bloody didn’t!’ was my reply.
We learn’t later that every town and village had a ‘Le Mari’. This is not maybe how to spell it but roughly translated it means ‘Town Hall’.

No wonder the people in the board meeting thought that the village idiot had popped in!

Bye for now – Rob